I will never forget that she IS, they ARE, an absolute miracle

"Eskimo kisses"

I love blogs.  They are an online diary, that you can share with people.  With mine I've been able to go back and read what the past 9 years has been like for us.  Especially the last 2-3 years.  With how crazy life gets it's easy to forget where we were, and take for granted what we have been through.
I'm not sure if it's just because I'm getting older and meeting and getting to know new people, or if it's this new facebook world; but I have been praying for SO many babies lately.  I have been praying that so many babies would be healed, and come home to their families and lead "normal", happy, wonderful lives.  And I feel like my prayers are going unanswered.  Child after child is going home to be with Jesus.  Don't get me wrong, I know they're in a wonderful place where there is no more pain, and we will see them one day again.  They are ok, it's their parents that I am heartbroken for.  I truly cannot imagine the pain of losing a child.  I've been faced a few times with the possibility and that is almost more than I can stand.  I hate standing by, and watching these families learn how to "deal with" and move on with life after losing a child.  It's unimaginable.  It hurts to even think about.  I said out loud to a friend the other day "I don't understand why there aren't any prayers being answered for these babies?  Where are the miracles that I've been praying for??"  And like a ton of bricks it hit me.  Her name is McKinley.  McKinley should not have survived.  I never gave it the consideration that the Dr's asked me to, but she was not supposed to make it past birth.  And she certainly wasn't supposed to still be surviving on her one, sick kidney.  She was supposed to have a massive heart defect.  She IS a miracle. What I struggle with is why me?  I know it sounds silly because I am beyond thankful, but why do I get to experience such joy when other mothers (parents) don't?  I'm not even sure what the purpose of this blog is.  But I guess to let you know that if you've been praying for lots of babies like I have and feel a little hopeless, remember THIS baby that you prayed for, and remember that miracles do happen.  My little miracle is waking up from nap right now..... :)