I will never forget that she IS, they ARE, an absolute miracle

"Eskimo kisses"

I love blogs.  They are an online diary, that you can share with people.  With mine I've been able to go back and read what the past 9 years has been like for us.  Especially the last 2-3 years.  With how crazy life gets it's easy to forget where we were, and take for granted what we have been through.
I'm not sure if it's just because I'm getting older and meeting and getting to know new people, or if it's this new facebook world; but I have been praying for SO many babies lately.  I have been praying that so many babies would be healed, and come home to their families and lead "normal", happy, wonderful lives.  And I feel like my prayers are going unanswered.  Child after child is going home to be with Jesus.  Don't get me wrong, I know they're in a wonderful place where there is no more pain, and we will see them one day again.  They are ok, it's their parents that I am heartbroken for.  I truly cannot imagine the pain of losing a child.  I've been faced a few times with the possibility and that is almost more than I can stand.  I hate standing by, and watching these families learn how to "deal with" and move on with life after losing a child.  It's unimaginable.  It hurts to even think about.  I said out loud to a friend the other day "I don't understand why there aren't any prayers being answered for these babies?  Where are the miracles that I've been praying for??"  And like a ton of bricks it hit me.  Her name is McKinley.  McKinley should not have survived.  I never gave it the consideration that the Dr's asked me to, but she was not supposed to make it past birth.  And she certainly wasn't supposed to still be surviving on her one, sick kidney.  She was supposed to have a massive heart defect.  She IS a miracle. What I struggle with is why me?  I know it sounds silly because I am beyond thankful, but why do I get to experience such joy when other mothers (parents) don't?  I'm not even sure what the purpose of this blog is.  But I guess to let you know that if you've been praying for lots of babies like I have and feel a little hopeless, remember THIS baby that you prayed for, and remember that miracles do happen.  My little miracle is waking up from nap right now..... :)

Huge Success!!!!

Reading with Papa after being home from the hospital for only a couple of hours

McKinley's surgery was a huge success!  We are blown away by how amazing she is doing now that she is home.  In fact, she was doing amazing just hours after her surgery.  She came home in less than 24 hours and even the nurses were amazed.  In fact her nurse that discharged us wanted to make sure she had all the "drugs" she needed just in case and she hasn't needed anything.  I gave her Tylenol before bed last night and first thing this morning just because I was sure she needed it, but I really don't think she did.  She is an amazingly tough girl.  She has 5 incisions on her back and every time she cries I ask her what hurts (she's two so naturally, there's lot of random crying) and every time she shows me a tiny scrape on her finger from a fall last week!  I'm thinking...do you even know there are holes and stitches in your back?!?!  I'm just praying that she continues to get even better from here on out.  God is so good and I cannot tell you how thankful I am for all of the friends and family and strangers that were praying for her and us.  It is bringing tears to my eyes right now.  We are so blessed and thankful for all of you!

McKinley's next surgery...

Mommy and McKinley

So it looks like I will start off each blog entry complaining about how long it's been since my last post. But 7 months?!?  Really?!?!  I'm so disappointed in myself!  Where to even begin.  McKinley is walking now! Scratch that, she's running.  Just like her brother.  In fact they are both running and screaching at the top of their lungs as they chase each other around the house cracking each other up. It's really pretty hilarious!  I believe she started walking sometime in April, so it was a bit later than her brother but once she started she acted like she'd been doing it for ever!  She amazes me every day.  They both do.  Their vocabulary is getting so big, every day they have a new word.  When Brooks wants another of something he says "more one".  And when he sees a lot of something he says "many!"  When McKinley wants to ride her bike she says "in a bicycle!" and she loves to sing "twinkle twinkle".  They both can sing their ABC's and count to 10!  I'm sure they'd be accepted into Mensa if we had them tested. :)  (or maybe I'm just a proud mom...)
We have had an amazing summer.  We've visited with family, been on vacations, watched Uncle Ian get married and best of all, spent very little time at the hospital!  McKinley is down to only 1 or 2 clinic visits at Children's per month, compared to about 3 per week when she was first born.  Her last surgery was 11 months ago so we almost know what "normal" life feels like.
Unfortunately she'll be going back to Children's on Wednesday August 22nd for her next surgery.  This is her heart surgery where they will remove her double aortic arch.  I feel more anxious/nervous about this surgery than any of her other surgeries.  I think with all of the others they were just happening so often that I didn't have time to get used to being at home, or having McKinley feeling and doing really great.  This is supposed to be the most minor of all the surgeries she's had with only 1 - 2 nights in the hospital and a speedy recovery but I'm just really dreading it.  McKinley is doing so awesome right now!  She is so happy, healthy, energetic and un-suspecting of what's coming.  I was complaining to Tony about how I didn't want to disrupt this great stage of her life with another surgery and he reminded me that this really is the perfect time to do it. We don't want to wait until she's not feeling well to do a surgery.  But still....
The surgery will be thoroscopic where they'll make 3 tiny incisions under her left arm and hopefully be able to cut the double aortic arch (a form of vascular ring that is not functional so they can just cut it and let it fall down and be absorbed by the body) and that should be it.  There's a chance that they won't be able to reach it thoroscopically and have to go in through the chest but we are desperately praying that won't be the case.  One of the major risks is that the double aortic arch can be near one of the vocal cords so she could have a partially paralyzed voice for a while so we're also praying that doesn't happen. This surgery is not with her normal surgeon (our hero Dr. Healey) which makes me feel a little uneasy but I also know that the surgeon that will be working on her is also amazing and came highly recommended by Dr Healey for this particular type of surgery.
Our prayer is that the surgery is a huge success, that McKinley has as positive of an experience in the hospital as she possibly can, that she comes homes quickly and recovers fast.  In fact we want to go to the zoo on Saturday (wishful thinking maybe?) so I'm hoping she's even healed enough to do that.  Thank you all for being our prayer warriors!  McKinley is truly a miracle baby and I am so thankful that God has chosen to bless us with her and her story.

No Problems

Ok ok, I know I'm about a month late but it was so precious I had to post it! :)

You know what is a great problem to have....no problems!  I was thinking about updating my blog the other day and came to the conclusion that I had nothing to say because we currently were having no problems.  Then I realized, a lot of people blog who don't have problems!  I can blog just because I want to keep people updated, or put my thoughts down on "paper".  It doesn't have to be because something troubling is happening in our lives!
The kids are doing AMAZING!!!!  Brooks is walking.  Scratch that, he is running!  And I love it!  A lot of people told me, cherish the moments when they're not mobile, once they start moving you'll never sit still.  Honestly, I find it completely the opposite.  Now that he's walking he can get what he wants, when he wants to get it and he can entertain himself.  I have so much more free time now that he is mobile!
And McKinley is a crawling machine.  We're still working with a PT to get her to crawl appropriately but regardless, she gets around.  She keeps up with her brother quite nicely.  She walks with assistance which is extremely encouraging.  I can't wait until she can walk; I can see how frustrated she gets now wanting to do everything that her brother does.
Brooks likes to imitate almost anything you say.  Today Nana was teaching him how to say "stab it!" as he was learning to use a fork while eating lunch. :)  He says Nite nite, Milk (Mog), Sissy, Bath, Ball, Kitty, Eat, Yum Yum, Banana (nana),  Mama, Dada, Papa, Nana, Star, Wow, More, Down, Up, Nose and so much more.  I wanted to teach him sign language but I haven't needed to so far because he just tells me what he wants.  I'm really amazed by him!
McKinley is doing so awesome.  We're still trying to figure out her whole "pooping routine".  (I'm clearly going to have to hide this blog from her when she's older, she would be mortified by all of this pooping talk!!!)  She's been a bit uncomfortable lately and has been throwing up a lot and we've found basically that she's full of poop (insert funny joke here :)) So we have her on Mirilax and some other meds to get her bowels active to try to clean her out.  So needless to say, I need to buy stock in diapers.  (Check my next blog for which diapers I will be buying stock in :))  This morning I changed 4 poopy diapers in 1 hour and even got poop in my hair.  Don't ask....  All I know is the kids immediately went down for nap whether they liked it or not and I got right in the shower!
Each day I am able to enjoy and see the blessings in my life more and more.  It's been a challenging year to say the least but these two little miracles bring smiles to my face daily now! :)